(some of us more willingly than others :-P) 
He's so handsome when I'm putting him to work... My nesting has gotten almost out of control. In the past month I must have washed our bed sheets sixteen times. I hate washing bed sheets. I don’t know why I keep doing it.
And it isn’t just washing things. It isn’t that I’ve taken apart every piece of baby equipment and run every piece of fabric the kid should come in contact with through the two-hour sanitizing deep clean cycle of the wash and it’s not that I’ve actually hand washed things for the first time in my life, and it’s not even that I’ve taken the batteries out of toys and disinfected the crevices of their battery packs with Green Works and cotton swabs. No, it’s not only that I spent SIX HOURS yesterday alone spraying and wiping and folding and reassembling and lint-rolling and Fabreezing. Cleaning is the easiest of it.
It’s that I’m actually losing sleep over not being prepared for this baby. I wake up in the night because of dreams that we’re discharged from the hospital without an infant seat. Or that suddenly I realize we accidentally bought a new van without enough seating space to fit another car seat. Oh my God, I wake up thinking, we don’t have room in our cabinets to store the baby’s bottles and breast milk storage containers. I’ll have to get up early to reorganize the kitchen cabinets in the morning. Let’s see, how many do I need to make room for? Did I even buy enough storage containers? Ugh! I still need breast pads! No I don’t. I got a huge container of disposable ones… Didn’t I? Or did I just consider buying them. I better get up and check now.
I have re-checked and re-counted everything that I own for this child at least two-dozen times. And every time I do, I remember something else that I really, really need. A Boppy pillow. A car seat. A nursing glider. More diapers. A hamper! An musical lullaby toy to attach to her crib! Toys in general. She has no toys! More blankets. She doesn’t even have a real comforter yet. When am I going to find the time to buy all of this stuff, let alone sew her a comforter to match that bumper?? And the bumper still has a tear in it. I’ll never remember to mend that before she comes. I could go into labor next week! I’ll be full term in less than ten days! What am I doing??
To make my anxiety even worse, there are too many other expenses to focus on. For instance, we’ve been waiting on the chance to buy a new vacuum for years and now that it’s finally made it’s way to the top of the priority list with all of the new carpet in the house, it kills me to think that two-hundred and sixty some dollars of potential baby supplies will have to go un-purchased for yet another week.
And even better?? The transmission on my van is gone. Entirely. Until Spencer orders a two hundred dollar part, some kind of control center thingy for the transmission is sitting in our garage, rendering our transportation un-transportable. So before the baby comes, we need to buy a new van, entirely.
But more than anything, I’m getting nervous about labor. I’m getting nervous that Spencer not being there for a good portion of it is a real possibility. I’m getting nervous that we won’t find someone to take the dog for his morning walks while I’m in the hospital. I’m getting nervous that I won’t know how to make it through the pain because I waited too long to take a Lamaze class and I can’t justify spending fifty-some dollars ordering an instructional DVD.
So today I am making a list of things I have to buy within the next two weeks; a list that will probably make my husband want to divorce me. Kind of like the list he laughed at me for making of questions for my doctor -- except worse, because this one involves money and an entire array of things he can physically point to and say “how can we possibly NEED this thing when I don’t even know what it is.”
And it isn’t just washing things. It isn’t that I’ve taken apart every piece of baby equipment and run every piece of fabric the kid should come in contact with through the two-hour sanitizing deep clean cycle of the wash and it’s not that I’ve actually hand washed things for the first time in my life, and it’s not even that I’ve taken the batteries out of toys and disinfected the crevices of their battery packs with Green Works and cotton swabs. No, it’s not only that I spent SIX HOURS yesterday alone spraying and wiping and folding and reassembling and lint-rolling and Fabreezing. Cleaning is the easiest of it.
It’s that I’m actually losing sleep over not being prepared for this baby. I wake up in the night because of dreams that we’re discharged from the hospital without an infant seat. Or that suddenly I realize we accidentally bought a new van without enough seating space to fit another car seat. Oh my God, I wake up thinking, we don’t have room in our cabinets to store the baby’s bottles and breast milk storage containers. I’ll have to get up early to reorganize the kitchen cabinets in the morning. Let’s see, how many do I need to make room for? Did I even buy enough storage containers? Ugh! I still need breast pads! No I don’t. I got a huge container of disposable ones… Didn’t I? Or did I just consider buying them. I better get up and check now.
I have re-checked and re-counted everything that I own for this child at least two-dozen times. And every time I do, I remember something else that I really, really need. A Boppy pillow. A car seat. A nursing glider. More diapers. A hamper! An musical lullaby toy to attach to her crib! Toys in general. She has no toys! More blankets. She doesn’t even have a real comforter yet. When am I going to find the time to buy all of this stuff, let alone sew her a comforter to match that bumper?? And the bumper still has a tear in it. I’ll never remember to mend that before she comes. I could go into labor next week! I’ll be full term in less than ten days! What am I doing??
To make my anxiety even worse, there are too many other expenses to focus on. For instance, we’ve been waiting on the chance to buy a new vacuum for years and now that it’s finally made it’s way to the top of the priority list with all of the new carpet in the house, it kills me to think that two-hundred and sixty some dollars of potential baby supplies will have to go un-purchased for yet another week.
And even better?? The transmission on my van is gone. Entirely. Until Spencer orders a two hundred dollar part, some kind of control center thingy for the transmission is sitting in our garage, rendering our transportation un-transportable. So before the baby comes, we need to buy a new van, entirely.
But more than anything, I’m getting nervous about labor. I’m getting nervous that Spencer not being there for a good portion of it is a real possibility. I’m getting nervous that we won’t find someone to take the dog for his morning walks while I’m in the hospital. I’m getting nervous that I won’t know how to make it through the pain because I waited too long to take a Lamaze class and I can’t justify spending fifty-some dollars ordering an instructional DVD.
So today I am making a list of things I have to buy within the next two weeks; a list that will probably make my husband want to divorce me. Kind of like the list he laughed at me for making of questions for my doctor -- except worse, because this one involves money and an entire array of things he can physically point to and say “how can we possibly NEED this thing when I don’t even know what it is.”
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